look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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