girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
