So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
