im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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