just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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