I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
3 2 1 whiskey
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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