Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
