yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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