i permit you to call me
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
