i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
