Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize