well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
