I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
