I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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