I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
