How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
