I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
