I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
