And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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