You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
