I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
