"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize