Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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