I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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