Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
