Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
