Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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