I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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