I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
