There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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