Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize