Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
