There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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