Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
