nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
this hospital has no fireball
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
