Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You're a waste of cheezeits
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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