omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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