JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If I die, sorry about rent.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
