We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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