I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
