Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize