So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
