Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
