you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize