Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
