loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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