so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
