they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
