Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We are two peas in an std pod
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
