singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
