so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
