I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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