I just threw up on my dentist
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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