Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
