She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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