checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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