just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
