Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
