I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
