How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
