My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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