I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i dont even know how to be here
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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