Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
