i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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