smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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