butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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