I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize