with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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