Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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