i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
