At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Green mimosas i think yes
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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