I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
