Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
