I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
