He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
