It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We left the knife in your bed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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