As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
